Own
by katierosefun
Summary: The teenager frowned as he watched his master tuck the braid back into a drawer. Shoulders slumping forward, Ezra said, "But I mean – a braid? Does it have anything to do with…you know, anything important?" [Kanan and Ezra friendship. In which Ezra finds Kanan's old Padawan braid - questions are raised.]


**I had actually started this one-shot before Christmas break. I meant to finish it and post it during that time, but...*looks at calendar* Um. Got distracted. Whoopsie! **

**Enjoy! (And for those of you who might be wondering, I would think this story takes place only a few episodes after the first episode...so we're not quite in _Out of Darkness _- Ezra's still trying to get used to being a Padawan, but at this point in the show, he's much more comfortable with the _Ghost _crew.)**

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><p><em>Own<em>

So maybe it was a bad idea for Ezra Bridger to go into Kanan's quarters without permission, but the youth was bored and in need of _some _form of excitement. Zeb wasn't even around to bother Ezra, which was depressing (under Hera's orders, the Lasat had gone off to the market); Sabine was painting something, and had made it clear that she didn't want anyone to disturb her while working; Hera and Chopper had gone off the _Ghost _to get some fuel. So that left a _very _quiet _Ghost…_and Kanan.

When Ezra walked into his master's (_master _– Ezra was still getting used to that term) quarters, there wasn't even anyone there. Needless to say, Ezra was just a bit disappointed – he would have liked to get some training done. (Preferably training that didn't involve meditating…Ezra had already discovered how much he hated it.)

"Huh," Ezra said aloud to himself, letting his eyes wander around the room. There really wasn't much to see – it looked almost just like Ezra and Zeb's own room, only there weren't any spray-painted picture left by Sabine. It was neat, too – with (mostly) everything left in the right place.

But at the same time, there was something else about Kanan's room that always got Ezra's attention – the fact that certain things were always hidden. After all, that was how Ezra found Kanan's light saber. And the holo-message from Obi-Wan Kenobi.

Ezra shifted his weight from foot to foot, pocketing his hands as he did so. Maybe there was something else he could find – not that he was trying to _snoop_, that is. He was just curious.

"Not going to do anything stupid," the teenager said aloud to no one in particular. "I'm just gonna…do something decent. That's right. Nothing weird going on in here…"

No one responded.

Bending down, Ezra started at the drawer underneath Kanan's bunk. There really wasn't a ton in there, either – a blaster, a data-pad…some weird-looking beads that didn't do anything…a few credits. Ezra pushed that drawer back in, already growing bored. He yanked out another drawer, only to find nothing inside – just a few dust balls and bolts – probably for Chopper or something.

Ezra was about to give up whatever flimsy search he was holding when he opened the last drawer – and this time, there _was _something _somewhat _interesting inside.

"Hair," Ezra said aloud, tilting his head at the tightly-braided strands of dark hair in the drawer. He narrowed his eyes at it, trying to decide between cringing and pushing the thing away or continue to stare at it. Why would _Kanan _of all people want to keep _hair?_ Especially in a _braid? _

"Weird hobby?" Ezra wondered to himself.

The door suddenly slid open, followed by a, "Not a weird hobby. More like a _private, personal _belonging."

Flinching in surprise, Ezra quickly pushed himself up to his feet. Kanan was already standing in the doorway, arms folded across his chest and eyebrow lifted in annoyance. Smiling weakly, the teenager said, "Hey, Kanan– um…" His eyes ventured awkwardly around the room and then, after a pause, he added halfheartedly, "Sorry…?" He rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly, asking, "But how did you –"

"Find out what you were talking about?" Kanan countered. Ezra grimaced, but replied, "Yeah."

"You were talking aloud – might want to get rid of that habit," Kanan simply said, walking into the room. He held out his hand – for the braid – but Ezra didn't hand over the item just yet. Holding it out in front of him, Ezra asked, "But seriously – what _is _this thing?" He looked up at Kanan, hurriedly adding, "I mean, I know you said it was _private _and _personal_, but…I don't understand why you would keep _this _thing –"

Before Ezra could finish, Kanan plucked the braid out of his hand. "You're right," he said. "You know that it's something private. Therefore, I shouldn't have to explain it to you."

The teenager frowned as he watched his master tuck the braid back into a drawer. Shoulders slumping forward, Ezra said, "But I mean – a braid? Does it have anything to do with…you know, anything important?" When Kanan turned to look at him, the youth shrugged his shoulders. "It's a valid question," he said. "I mean, that's how I found the message-thing from…Master Kenobi, right? By looking through your uh…drawers?"

He cringed. "Okay. Maybe that sounded bad, but hear me out." He lifted his hands and said, "But…you know, just for the sake of curiosity? Do you mind telling me –"

"I _do _mind, Ezra. Now, that's enough." Kanan interrupted. Without another word, he gestured out the door. Ezra's frown deepened. Biting the inside of his cheek in a mix of frustration and annoyance, he dropped his head and headed out of the room.

xXx

"Do you know about the braid Kanan has?" Ezra asked Sabine, his legs swinging from his bunk bed. He was watching Sabine sorting through the cans of spray paint in her bag, waiting for any answer. Instead, however, Sabine only murmured a, "mm-hm" in response.

"It's weird, isn't it? Like, the fact he has _hair _in his drawer?"

"Mm-hm…"

"What do you think it's about?"

"Mm-hm…"

Groaning loudly, Ezra flopped over on his side. "_Sabine_," he groaned. "You're not even _listening _to me." Ezra felt something promptly hit his knee – a spray paint can – along with Sabine saying, "Well, can you blame me? I've got some stuff to do. Besides, I told you _not _to bother me, remember? Not while I'm in my work-zone?"

Ezra propped himself up on his elbows, saying, "Then why are you in my room?"

"I left some cans in here." Sabine replied, rolling her eyes. "And just so you know, that's not an automatic invite into this place anytime soon. Plus," she added, tapping the mural that she had made a few weeks ago, "this thing is probably the only somewhat appealing part of your room." With a smirk, she slung her bag over her shoulders. "But anyways, it doesn't seem _too _weird that Kanan has…whatever in his drawer. I mean, you know – Jedi and all that. Maybe it's some funky custom?"

Ezra blinked. "I didn't think about that," he said slowly. Sabine lifted her shoulders. "Well, I can't be too sure, either." She started to walk out of the room, but before she could actually leave, she called, "Maybe you can ask Hera when she comes back! Or better yet, ask Kanan himself!"

_If only it was that easy, _Ezra thought grumpily to himself.

xXx

"So, Ezra told me something interesting today," Hera said when Kanan entered the cockpit. Swinging himself down to the chair, he replied as nonchalantly as he could, "Really." The sinking sensation in his stomach already told him where this conversation was going – and Kanan wasn't too enthusiastic about that prospect.

"Something about a familiar braid?" Hera added, giving Kanan a sidelong glance. "Something to do with _Jedi _matters?"

Sighing, Kanan rubbed his hands over his eyes. "Just tell me what you're thinking, Hera," he grumbled. "I'm not in the mood for any mind-games."

"Said the Force-sensitive person who can actually _play _with mind-games to the non-Force-sensitive," the Twi'lek replied, a smile in her voice. Kanan opened his eyes and turned to scowl at Hera, who shrugged. "My point is that you should go and tell Ezra – you know, shouldn't it be useful? Jedi training and all that?"

"I don't see how," Kanan argued. Hera swiveled her chair over, locking her eyes at the man's. "Come on," she said. "Enlighten him. It can't be easy, you know – trying to be something that you're supposed to be and not knowing too much about it." At this, she gave him a pointed look. Kanan frowned. "That doesn't mean I should _tell _him _now_," he shot back. "It's a thing of the past. It doesn't have any meaning."

"I'm pretty sure I can argue against that," Hera replied. She tapped her hands along the controls, adding, "Just give it a shot. You don't have to give him the full story – just the tidbits. Besides, you're learning something from him too, right? This might be one of those days."

xXx

For the rest of the day, Ezra couldn't see Kanan. It wasn't that the boy was _avoiding _Kanan, and he knew that Kanan wasn't trying to avoid him, either. However, it seemed to be an unspoken rule that Ezra should try to retreat from the older man due to the past event.

This was actually rather annoying.

So Ezra was surprised to find Kanan waiting in the teenager's room. "Huh," was all Ezra could say. He leaned against the wall, and crossing his arms, asked, "How long have you been here? Do you need something? Or did I forget to do a chore or whatever? Because I'm pretty sure I did everything Hera told me to –"

"Slow down, kid," Kanan interrupted. He sat down on the lower bunk – Zeb's bunk – and silently pulled something out of his back pocket. Ezra's arms slowly fell to his sides as he looked down at the braid of hair in Kanan's hands. Frowning, Ezra looked back up at Kanan, saying, "I thought you didn't wanna talk about it."

"I _don't_," Kanan replied flatly. There was an awkward pause after that – and clearing his throat, Kanan added, "But I decided it would be…_fair _to tell you at least _something_." Ezra's eyes enlarged as he carefully eyed the braid. "I already know it's a Jedi thing, or at least, something related to it," he said plainly. "I just don't really know what the big deal about it is."

Kanan pressed his lips together. "Back in the days when there were still more Jedi around the galaxy, there was a tradition carried out to mark the sign of a Jedi apprentice – a Padawan." He gestured to Ezra, who couldn't help but to feel a small swell of glee at that word. _Padawan. _

But Kanan didn't look too happy. Holding up the braid, he said, "This was what they wore – made their own braid. The Padawans who didn't have hair would make their own braids out of beads of some kind." Ezra tilted his head at the hair, replying, "So…that was yours when you were a Padawan? Right?" His eyes lit up. "Do you think I could make –"

"_No_." Kanan interrupted. "And you should know why by now."

"…oh. Yeah." The teenager mumbled, looking down at the floor in embarrassment. "Got it." He hesitated and then, bracing himself for a reaction, asked, "So…then what do Padawans do, exactly? When do they get rid of their braids?"

Again, Ezra knew that he had hit a nerve. For a brief second, a look of…almost grief passed through Kanan's face. Ezra felt a pang of guilt – maybe he shouldn't have asked that. Maybe he shouldn't have been so curious…but the worst part about it all was that Ezra _still _wanted to know more. The teenager could feel the uncomfortable prickle of shame pierce his body – he made a mental note to himself to _not _go exploring anymore. At least, not on the _Ghost_.

The older man gently pushed his braid back into his pocket and replied softly, "They're supposed to have their braids cut off once they reach knighthood – that's when they're no longer just an apprentice."

_Supposed to? _Ezra wanted to ask, but this time, he bit down on the inside of his cheek. Judging by the way Kanan had looked before, Ezra couldn't help but to think that his master hadn't had his braid cut off because he reached knighthood.

_There was something more to it. _

"Um," Ezra tried halfheartedly, "okay. So I know now. Thanks." _I guess. _

"Don't mention it," Kanan replied, standing up. As he was about to leave, however, Ezra blurted out, "Do you think it might ever happen, though? You know, if things ever get…better? Padawans carrying out that same tradition-thing and stuff?"

Kanan turned around slowly – and from the fixed, pointed look in his eyes, Ezra was almost positive that he had gone a bit too far. _Frack his stupid mouth! _

Then, to Ezra's surprise, Kanan's stern expression faded away. It wasn't completely gone, but there was definitely a more patient, quieter note in the older man's voice when he said, "Who knows? Maybe – you might just get your own someday." Tapping his hands against the doorway, Kanan added, "But for the record, I don't think you need a braid to make you a sound Padawan."

With that, Kanan left – and Ezra could only beam at the spot where his master had been just seconds ago. _I don't think you need a braid to make you a sound Padawan, _he mused to himself. Swinging up to his bunk, Ezra grinned up at the ceiling. _Works for me. _

xXx

"So? Should I be worried about anymore awkward tiptoes around my ship?" Kanan heard Hera ask as he made his way to his quarters. He came to a slow stop, inquiring, "What do you mean, _awkward tiptoes?_" The Twi'lek rolled her eyes. "Like you don't know," she answered. "But I mean it, Kanan – are you two out of the woods yet?"

At his bewildered look, Hera puffed out a sigh. "Figure of speech," she explained. "Translation – are you guys okay?"

"Of course," Kanan replied. "There was nothing to really…work out. You know – I just gave the kid a rough outline of what the braid meant and…that was it. Nothing to add." He frowned at Hera's expression, which had gone from hopeful to exasperated in a matter of nanoseconds. "_What?_" he asked tiredly.

"Oh, Kanan," Hera murmured, shaking her head. "You two are just…ah, one day, I think you'll see what I mean." She poked the air in front of Kanan's chest for extra measure and without another word, the Twi'lek turned on her heel and promptly started walking toward the direction of the cockpit.

Kanan stared, confused, and then slowly retreated to his quarters. He bent down next to his bunk – and placed his braid back in its designated place in the drawer. He took a few seconds to look at it – something that he hadn't done in a while. It just seemed better to keep it away, until now. In fact, now that he properly thought about it, Kanan was fairly sure that he hadn't looked at it until Ezra actually brought it up.

Thinking about Ezra…ha. Kanan pushed the drawer and sat down on his bunk.

_That kid. So excited. So eager. _

Kanan wondered if he had been as hyped up as Ezra when he was first made Padawan – and quickly dismissed the thought. No, he didn't _wonder _– he _knew _he was just as happy as Ezra back then.

_Maybe, kid, _Kanan thought to himself, leaning back against the mattress. _You might just see the day you'll get your own Padawan braid. _

_Not that you need it._

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><p><strong>AN - Sorry if Ezra and Kanan and Hera and Sabine sounded OOC - I'm still trying to get into the swing of writing these guys. (Because...new fandom, new characters, new rules. It's like I'm changing a face. Ooh. *blinks* Never mind. Forget the face-changing part. That's creepy.) ****And of course, I just wanted an excuse to write some Kanan and Ezra friendship-y stuff. With Kanan acting like an awkward dad/older brother/however-you-interpret-their-relationship. And Hera acting like the mom. And even a bit of Sabine acting like the big, very sarcastic older sister. **

**Reviews are always appreciated! Constructive criticism is allowed, but flames are not! **


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